How I Love You: The Five Love Languages

April 23, 2013

Have you guys noticed yet that I LOVE love?!?!  Well, I do.  It’s basically the best thing ever.  I’m not just talking about romantic love, either.  I love friendship love.  I love family love.  I love God love.  It’s all just so wonderful! Although I believe it can be so easy to love others, showing that love in a way that reaches into the heart of the other person can be so stinking difficult!  Nate and I have run into that problem (and, unfortunately, sometimes still do – We’re still learning, friends!).  Too often, I love Nate the way I desire to be loved and he loves me the way he desires to be loved.  When that happens, everyone is loving but no one feels it. IMG_0189100_0300 Have you ever heard of the five love languages? The theory is that we all feel love predominantly one of five ways – Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and  Receiving Gifts My love language is absolutely, without a doubt, 100% Quality Time.  Seriously, you guys don’t even understand how much Quality Time means to me.  (Well, actually, I would guess that about 1/5 of you all do since it’s your love language too) 100_0274 Because my love language is Quality Time, I thought for the longest time that that’s what everyone needed.  This negatively affected my relationship with Nate.  I would make sure to always be present with him.  I’d make sure to give him my undivided attention and keep distractions to a minimum when I was with him.  I’d want to be around him ALL THE TIME because I felt loved whenever he was around me so I thought the feelings were mutual.  He obviously appreciated the effort I was putting into our relationship, but he also felt a little stressed out and smothered by the way I was trying to show him love. See, Nate’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  What he wants from me is to genuinely complement him, tell him when I appreciate what he’s doing, and let him know how awesome he is.  (Since I’m thinking about it – Nate, you’re wonderful and the best husband a girl could ask for)  I didn’t know how to give that to him since that’s not as important to me. IMG_7301 Thankfully, Nate and I were able to communicate our feelings to one another.  We talked about what we need and how the other person could give that to us.  Through the conversations, we’ve learned to not love each other the way we want to be loved but, instead, think about how the other person needs to be loved and do that. I’d encourage each and every one of you, even if you don’t have a significant other, to take on this mindset.  When you’re in a relationship – be it with a friend, a family member, or a significant other – learn what makes them tick.  Spend time truly getting to know how the other individual feels loved.  Relationships will grow and bloom if we learn how to love each other. If you don’t know what your love language is, CLICK HERE to find out!

  • This is so cute. I am more like your husband for sure. And I love getting gifts and love to give them as well.

    You are on the right track! And you are both so cute together. Great pictures.

    Shauna xo

  • Ohhh how cute?! The photos look AMAZING!!

  • I'm quality time and my hubby is words of affirmation too! I'm glad you guys were able to figure each other out πŸ™‚

  • I LOVE LOVE too, it's so happy!!!!

    I'm a physical touch or words of affirmation gal. πŸ™‚

  • What a fun post! This is always something that I struggle with. My husband and I have different love languages and sometimes it drives me nuts! But I guess its a good thing that we have different ones.. Keeps things exciting πŸ˜‰

  • This is a great post. Communication can be tough… my husband and I haven't taken the five love languages test to see what kind we are… but I know we have different communication styles, so it's something we always have to work at.

  • great post /// mine is words of aff. I loved this book…it works with kids too which is really helpful as a parent.

  • Jen

    So cute!!! πŸ™‚ Kyle and I need to take this test again. πŸ™‚

  • It's so important to know how each other love to be loved and try to do that, even when you don't want to, because it often is more effort since that's not the way we're used to showing love. I'm quality time and words and my husband is 100% touch.

  • Very interesting πŸ™‚ I do know what you mean about the different ways of showing love. I'm really bad with Words of Affirmation but that's what my exec like… Didn't understand that back at the time though

  • I've never heard of this before, thanks for sharing! You two are adorable!!

  • lovely photos! personal fav is the first one. well I figured out already you're a love person..
    this is why I love your blog :))gonna roll to love lang..now
    http://underthestarsandsun.blogspot.com/

  • Super interesting and worth looking into!

  • So interesting! I took the test too. My results are Quality Time and Physical Touch! Thanks for sharing this great post!

  • I have to take this test after reading this! πŸ™‚ I loved reading this post, dear Susannah. What an optimistic and lovely way to brighten up the world despite so many terrible things that have been happening! I hope you have a great day!

  • This is a great post and very interesting. I will have to take this test.

  • I'm going to have to take the test in a minute, but I'm pretty sure I am with you on the quality time one.

  • Amy

    =)
    I need to re-take the test…it's been a long time and i'm a changed girl since my last relationship.
    I think mine was words of affirmation, but i'm sure that still rings true.
    Words mean a great deal to me!

  • Oh really cute pics!
    and cool test!

    xoxo

  • I still need to read the five love languages!! I'm afraid I might be all 5… my poor hubs, ha ha!
    This is such a sweet post. You and your hubs are the cutest!

  • My husband and I also have different love languages. I didn't quite figure out what my husband's was till last year, but now I pay attention to making sure I love him through "Acts of Service"….because that is not a strong love language for me at all.

  • Brian and I are still working on this, mine s affirmation and his is acts of service. It's so easy to show the one important to you, so hard to do the other. So had you guys have figured it our πŸ™‚
    Ginny
    mynewfavoriteoutfit.blogspot.com

  • I totally understand you! My love language is also quality time. I've always been that way! When I was dating people, and now with my husband, I want to be with him all the time! That can get overwhelming. I used to feel like wanting to do things without me meant that my husband loved me less than I loved him I had to learn that his need to se his friends has NOTHING to do with me. I also need to convince him to take the quiz because I'm super curious about what his love language is. πŸ™‚

  • Love these cute pictures. And YES! I love that book!! I read it on a business trip and gave it to my husband to read the second I got home. LOVE it. It just makes so much sense.

  • I LOVE the love languages! Luckily, Ben and I have very much the same love languagesβ€”words of affirmation and physical touch. I love that we have the same language! I have noticed that Ben also really values quality time, though, even though it isn't on the same level as the other two things. I've noticed how he really lights up when I spend time with him and give him my undivided attention. πŸ™‚ I think it's so important for couples to know their love languages. Great post!!

  • Interesting post and that book looks interesting and sometimes it is hard to maintain this mind set in such troubling times.

    Ali of

    http://www.dressingken.com

  • This is so interesting! I'm curious what the mister's is!

  • I LOVE the 5 Love Languages!! My husband and I read it together during our first months of marriage and it helps so much knowing your spouse's language! I am totally words of affirmation!!

  • Looks like I'm going to have to read the 5 Love Languages! I've actually never heard of it! Thanks so much for sharing friend!
    Brittney
    http://teaberrytrails.blogspot.com

  • I love this post (and I also love love haha)!! I'm quality time all the way too, and my husband is physical touch, which was hard for me to adjust to, because I'm not naturally a very touchy person. It was definitely something I had to be intentional about at first, but now it comes naturally to me (but only with Steve haha). Reading that book together was definitely one of the most helpful things when we were newlyweds; it just makes so much sense πŸ™‚

  • Love languages are so important to understand! Christopher and I learned about them early in our dating relationship which I think helped us avoid a lot of kinks.

  • i did the test and i came out equally for 3 of the 5 love languages!

  • Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love this post! I should figure out mine and my husbands love languages. It could make our relationship even better. Cute blog!

  • whoaa okay this is awesome! i did this a few months ago with E, and i got words of affirmation and HE got quality time πŸ™‚ so we are just like you guys except switched haha!

    grace & love,
    kristyn

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