A Vision of the Future
Sometimes I wonder if the sacrifices we’re making for Nate’s schooling is worth it. Sometimes I fear that God is not truly calling him into church ministry and we’re just wasting our time and money. Sometimes I’m scared that I’m not equipped to be a pastor’s wife – not smart enough, not compassionate enough, and definitely not strong enough.
I often have to remind myself of the faithfulness of God. There have been months when Nate and I have done the math and it hasn’t made sense. Some months the bills we’ve had to pay have mathematically been greater than the money we’ve made – and yet we’ve never had to dip into our savings. When summer quarter began, we knew money would be very tight since Nate was taking two more credits than before and there was one less month to pay the bill (we’re not taking out loans). We began praying that God would give us a way to make it work and two weeks later Nate was sent on a week long trip for work. The extra money he made that week was exactly the amount extra we needed to pay the school bills. God shows us time and time again that he is blessing us on the path we are taking.
This past week has been even more of a confirmation and an amazing vision of the future Nate and I are called into. Yesterday, Nate preached on the book of Jonah at a church we used to attend. It felt so natural listening to him share the work of God from the pulpit. He pulled out deep truths and yet presented them so simply.
Throughout the week prior, as Nate had been preparing and studying Jonah, we got into so many deep discussions regarding running from God (the first chapter of Jonah), the meanings of specific verses and phrases, and how to share what we’ve learned with others. Nate included me in his studying. He allowed me to be a part of His passion. I am so blessed to have a husband that recognizes my ability to think deeply and theologically.
I realized that this is what the future looks like for us. Sure, there will be hard times. I will watch Nate being overwhelmed by church ministry. I will feel inadequate at times. There will be times that we fail. That is not what is important, though. What is important is that we will be ministering. We will be studying the Word of God together. We will be following God’s leading in our lives together.
I have a sense of excitement for that future. It is going to be beautiful!
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