The Year of Grace
If you’re a blogger (and even if you’re not) I’m sure you’ve come across post after post with women sharing their One Little Word. This word is one that they have chosen to meditate on throughout the year, basing their lives off of the word and letting it resonate in their hearts.
Up until this past Monday I knew exactly what my word was going to be. I was excited about my word. I had plans for how to implement my word into my life. It was going to better me as a person, a wife, and a follower of the Lord.
That word was Discipline.
2015 was going to be my year of getting in a good exercise regime (mostly to help me lose my baby weight), spend daily time with the Lord, keep my house clean, focus on my marriage, and be SuperMom. I knew I could do it if I just set my mind to it! I figured Monday was the perfect day to start living out this word.
Thankfully, I didn’t get to live in my delusion long. On Monday Caleb had a horribly rough day. He was getting back into his daily routine after being at my parent’s house, surrounded by uncles, aunts and grandparents, for five days. He needed to be held, cuddled, and fed far more than I wanted.
I was discouraged.
I was able to spend a little time in the Word for about five minutes, I got no unpacking done, and I didn’t get to the dishes or laundry. The thought of exercising was a joke. How on earth could I exercise if I couldn’t put the baby down? By the time Nate got home I was a wreck. I was frustrated and hormonal. After not too long I realized I wasn’t spending quality time with Nate and, therefore, wasn’t being the kind of wife I wanted to be.
One day in and I already failed at my word.
That the thing, though, it was MY word. It wasn’t a word anyone else was putting on me. Nate wasn’t asking me to have everything perfect. All Caleb wanted from his SuperMom was cuddles. The Lord wasn’t demanding my time with Him. I was placing all these demands on myself.
I chose a new word. A word that was Truth from the Lord. A word that I need.
I need to give myself grace on days I don’t live up to my own silly expectations. I need to give Nate grace when he’s not operating in life the way I want him to. I need to accept the Grace of God in all aspects of my life.
Instead of beating myself up for not reaching the potential I place on myself I need to bathe myself in the Grace that He so freely gives. If He is a God of Grace, I need to be a woman of Grace.
Here’s to learning Grace in 2015.