How I Love You: The Five Love Languages
Have you guys noticed yet that I LOVE love?!?! Well, I do. It’s basically the best thing ever. I’m not just talking about romantic love, either. I love friendship love. I love family love. I love God love. It’s all just so wonderful! Although I believe it can be so easy to love others, showing that love in a way that reaches into the heart of the other person can be so stinking difficult! Nate and I have run into that problem (and, unfortunately, sometimes still do – We’re still learning, friends!). Too often, I love Nate the way I desire to be loved and he loves me the way he desires to be loved. When that happens, everyone is loving but no one feels it. Have you ever heard of the five love languages? The theory is that we all feel love predominantly one of five ways – Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts My love language is absolutely, without a doubt, 100% Quality Time. Seriously, you guys don’t even understand how much Quality Time means to me. (Well, actually, I would guess that about 1/5 of you all do since it’s your love language too) Because my love language is Quality Time, I thought for the longest time that that’s what everyone needed. This negatively affected my relationship with Nate. I would make sure to always be present with him. I’d make sure to give him my undivided attention and keep distractions to a minimum when I was with him. I’d want to be around him ALL THE TIME because I felt loved whenever he was around me so I thought the feelings were mutual. He obviously appreciated the effort I was putting into our relationship, but he also felt a little stressed out and smothered by the way I was trying to show him love. See, Nate’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation. What he wants from me is to genuinely complement him, tell him when I appreciate what he’s doing, and let him know how awesome he is. (Since I’m thinking about it – Nate, you’re wonderful and the best husband a girl could ask for) I didn’t know how to give that to him since that’s not as important to me. Thankfully, Nate and I were able to communicate our feelings to one another. We talked about what we need and how the other person could give that to us. Through the conversations, we’ve learned to not love each other the way we want to be loved but, instead, think about how the other person needs to be loved and do that. I’d encourage each and every one of you, even if you don’t have a significant other, to take on this mindset. When you’re in a relationship – be it with a friend, a family member, or a significant other – learn what makes them tick. Spend time truly getting to know how the other individual feels loved. Relationships will grow and bloom if we learn how to love each other. If you don’t know what your love language is, CLICK HERE to find out!