Bible College Ruined and Restored My Relationship with God
Growing up, I was always the “perfect little Christian girl.” I won all the Bible drills. I memorized Bible verses like a boss. I could rattle of what the Bible said about creation, women in ministry, and the end times. I went on all the ministry trips and was going to be a missionary when I grew up. I never asked myself, “Should I go to Bible school?” For me, the obvious next step after graduating High School was going to Bible College… even though I really didn’t feel like I had much to learn…
Let me tell you, this girl’s faith was absolutely shaken going to Bible College.
You see, I’m an all or nothing girl. I love having the right answer. I can be a bit of a know it all (or a total know it all if you ask my brothers and sisters). I like having my perfect answer all wrapped up neatly and tied with a bow.
Bible College showed me how little I truly knew about my faith. My mind began spinning out of control. I was at a conservative Christian school – a school that I thought would just agree with me on everything (because my ways were the true Christian ways) – and there we were discussing how it could be possible that the earth is more than 6000 years old? We were dialoging about the possibility of women being pastors? We were debating about whether or not there will be a rapture or a literal 1000 year reign of Christ in the end times? How was that possible?
My faith was completely shaken. If it’s not certain that the Bible says the things I “knew” were true, how could I be certain about anything? For about two years I just gave up. I went to classes, learned what the professors were teaching me, and went on my way. I didn’t spend time reading my Bible, I didn’t seek out answers, I didn’t go to church, and, honestly, I didn’t really have anything to do with God. My belief in Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross was there but the relationship and childlike faith was gone.
I was the “perfect Christian” in Bible College and yet I didn’t know what I believed. Bible College ripped the rug of faith out from under me and I just didn’t know what to do about it.
Praise the Lord, things began to change for me. God brought me to a point in life where I realized that I didn’t have to have all the answers. I didn’t have to continue believing the doctrine that my family believes or that I grew up believing. I could study, ask questions, search for answers, and come to my own conclusions. Honestly, if a bunch of theologians who have spent their lives studying the Bible can’t agree on doctrinal issues, what made me think that I had it all together?
So I dug into the Bible. I studied theologians. I had deep conversations with professors and friends. I started forming my own beliefs. I learned to hold my beliefs with an open hand – allowing God to change them to be more like His Truth as He changes me. I fell more deeply in love with the Savior.
Mostly, though, I truly began to understand Grace. I realized for the first time that Grace truly is all that’s needed in God’s eyes. There’s no need to be the “perfect Christian.” No one was fooled by that label anyway. The sacrifice of Jesus is all that is needed – everything else is superfluous.
Praise the Lord that Bible College ruined my relationship with God because it truly restored it as well!
What do you think are the benefits of going to Bible school?
Have you every had your faith shaken?
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