Let's Start a Revolution
Day after day as I go through life I hear people talking down about the significant others in their lives. I hear it at work, at the grocery store, on TV, and, unfortunately, even at church. Women joke about their husbands not being able to clean up after themselves, not wanting to cook, not stepping up and being the co-parent of their kids… Men complain about their wives being too emotional, not intelligent, and not a good housekeeper… The lists go on and on! That needs to STOP! Ladies, let’s start a revolution! Let’s commit to loving the men in our lives and encouraging them, not tearing them down and berating them. Let’s choose TODAY to make this change in our lives! Long ago Nate and I made a commitment to only speak positive words about each other to each and every person we come in contact with. Yes, there are times we genuinely need to discuss a problem in order to get advice and that’s completely different because it’s not done in a joking or malicious way. No, we’re not perfect about this but we do our very best! Here are a few reasons why we find it so vital to our marriage for us to keep our language about one another positive: 1. It keeps those we’re talking with from thinking poorly of the other person. If I’m frustrated with Nate and complain about it to my coworkers, I’m more than likely to go further than the truth. Nate may have forgotten to put his clothes in the hamper but I might stretch it and make it sound like he never helps out around the house. That gives the women I work with a view of Nate that couldn’t be further from the truth. Honesty is key and I do not want my coworkers to be viewing Nate in a way that isn’t true. I want them to be able to have the same respect for him that I have whenever they hear about him or when he walks into the office. 2. It keeps us from stewing on our problems. When I gripe and complain about something, I’m spending too much time thinking about it. Thinking and stewing on it does NOT solve anything. If Nate’s not around for me to share my frustration with, focusing on the problem isn’t helpful. Talking with him, not my friends, about what I’m frustrated about is the only way anything is going to change. My friends can’t fix our problems, only Nate and I (and maybe a mediator) can fix our problems. 3. It shows others the Christ-like love we (try to) have for one another. When someone I know jokes about fighting with her husband it’s so easy to joke right along with her. I mean, it’s NORMAL to have big fights with your spouse. The thing is, that’s a lie for us. Nate and I don’t fight. No, we do NOT always agree on things but we’re just not fighters. At the very beginning of our relationship we agreed we’d never raise our voices, slam doors, refuse to talk, etc when we’re in a disagreement. We work through our problems calmly and rationally. It helps that we’re both naturally more reserved people but it’s also us doing our best to display Christ to each other. By joking with my friend about fighting with Nate, I’m not displaying to her our desire to show each other Christ-like love. 4. It encourages others to think about the way they talk about their significant others. When I refuse to talk badly about Nate, I’ve found it rubs off on others. Women are less likely to talk badly or joke negatively about the men in their lives when they’re around me. Instead of negatively talking, our conversations are much more healthy. Sometimes women are truly having relationship problems and, instead of joking about them, they know I’m a safe, listening ear who will take what they say seriously. Women tend to talk more about their husband’s positive attributes and speak praises of their husbands around me since I don’t join in on all the negativity. I’d love to encourage each and every one of you to make the commitment Nate and I made. We need to speak words of positivity and encouragement into our loved ones lives – whether they’re present or not. We need to go to our spouses when something is frustrating us instead of venting to our friends. We need to show Christ-like love to our men. I believe we can start a revolution and keep our marriages (and other relationships) strong!