Your Husband CAN be Your Best Friend
I feel as though I’ve been reading tons of posts about the reason your husband shouldn’t be your best friend. These posts encourage us married women to have a female best friend and to leave our husbands to be our husbands. I completely 100% disagree. (with the exception that I DO think we should have female best friends too…) I absolutely think our husbands should be our best friends. Nate is certainly my best friend and I see nothing wrong with that. I believe whole heartedly that God agrees. Here’s what I think… The Bible says that when we marry we become one with our spouse. Now, I’m not going to go all theological on you about that verse but I do think it’s key to this conversation. Being one with someone ultimately means we’re on the same page, doing the same thing, viewed as a unit by the God of the universe. I think that’s a pretty big deal. If I can’t share my heart with the person with whom God views me as a unit there’s something wrong. If I can’t chat and giggle and be myself with this person then I should probably rethink the way my marriage is going. Of course, men and women are different. I’m certainly thankful for that. Nate doesn’t always love hearing about how I learned a new crochet stitch or how I really want to get a specific pair of boots this fall. I don’t always want to hear about how he’s thinking of fixing a certain problem with our car or what type of beer he’s planning on brewing next. We just don’t have all the same hobbies. This does not negate our best friendness. I mean, really, I think about my best girlfriend and have the same feelings. There are things that she loves and can just go on and on about and I really just don’t care. I’m sure the feeling is mutual. Does that mean I don’t listen to her and engage in what she loves? Of course not! I love her so I’m going to love what she’s got to say. (Until she gets super obnoxious and, in love, I tell her to shut up… That’s also a thing best friends are allowed to do) The exact same thing should happen with my husband. I should not shut him down when he’s talking about what’s on his mind and he should have the same courtesy to me. That’s how best friends are. Really, who’s better to travel with, talk with, drink coffee with, bike ride with, clean with, gossip with, giggle with, or pray with than your best friend? I’m glad my best friend is the one who sits beside me at the table at dinner, cuddles with me as I watch TV at night, and is laying next to me as I go to bed. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Do you think your husband should be your best friend?
How has marriage taught you to be a better friend?
27 Comments
Katrin
October 8, 2014 at 12:20 pm
I absolutely think that your husband/boyfriend can be your best friend. I mean, it would be kind of sad if not. You can have your partner as best friend and have another best friend (male or female). I surely love having my female best friend to watch shows with, go shopping etc.
Ladonna
October 8, 2014 at 1:45 pm
of course they can. you wouldn't marry someone who wasn't. Great post.
Robyn B
October 8, 2014 at 2:04 pm
i agree with you! our husband should be our ultimate best of the best friend! that's what becoming one with another person does! he is now the closest person to us & our number one priority on this earth (but second to Jesus)! he comes before our parents, our girl friends, and even our kids one day. he is first (of humans)!
but you can have more than one best friend – so having best girl friends is obviously helpful & needed as well!
Sarah Hynes
October 8, 2014 at 2:12 pm
I agree! I have lots of "best" friends, but I feel like they all fill different roles in my life…my husband is my best friend, but so is my mom, and my sister, and my best-friends-since-we-were-9 best friend. They are all the best for different reasons, and we interact with each other differently, but my husband is 100% one of my bests!!
Sarah
October 8, 2014 at 4:55 pm
That's weird that people say your husband shouldn't be your best friend…why would you want to spend 24/7 with someone who isn't? i think we can have many best friends, but definitely your spouse needs to be in that category.
Hannah
October 8, 2014 at 5:18 pm
I think you said this perfectly! I wonder how a marriage is possible if your husband is not your best friend? I could go on, but it would pretty much be saying everything you just said – you should be comfortable with your man and be able to share your heart and thoughts with [even those thoughts about what cute top you saw at the store…]. That is a huge part of marriage. It's important to have a best girl friend too, but you should most certainly be bffs with your hubby. Well put! 🙂
Veronica Lee Burns
October 8, 2014 at 6:03 pm
I'm with you! Kevin is most definitely my best friend!
Jen
October 8, 2014 at 6:55 pm
Kyle is my best friend, he is the one person that I tell everything to without fear of being judged.
The Jessa Olson Blog
October 8, 2014 at 7:09 pm
My hubs is my best guy friend, and I have some great lady friends. I didn't know you crocheted. what stitches do you know? We need to plan a crafty date!! 🙂
Juju at Tales of Whimsy.com
October 8, 2014 at 7:28 pm
I think it's important to have gal pals (and for men to have man nights) but I definitely agree, my husband is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other away.
Sarah Alway
October 8, 2014 at 7:58 pm
I think that problems arise when your husband is your best friend but you also don't have any other friends, particularly female ones. Stewart is definitely my best friend, but I also have lots of other bffs in my girlfriends. 🙂
Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly
October 8, 2014 at 8:11 pm
For me, the definition of husband includes best friend, even though I definitely have a best girl friend (or friends) as well. I know that I can tell him everything; he's gone through 3 births with me, a situation where I didn't even want my mom around. He's my home.
Caroline @ In Due Time
October 8, 2014 at 8:35 pm
Yes! Absolutely! Why else would you get married? Ya know? I wouldn't want to live with anyone unless I was super close, like BFF!!! So glad you are speaking truth over marriage!
Charlene Maugeri
October 8, 2014 at 8:42 pm
TRUTH! Speak it, girl! haha. It does bother me when people say that. I get that you should have other friends but these friends should by no means take the place of your husband!
Rachel
October 9, 2014 at 12:18 am
Angel's totally my best friend. Obviously, in lots of marriages, husband and wife aren't best friends–I'm grateful that doesn't describe our marriage, though. Besides Angel, my only other true best friends are my sisters–you need a few people who 'get' you!
Kristin
October 9, 2014 at 1:16 am
I think that problems arise when your husband is your best friend and you don't have outside interests. You can't depend on another person to wholly satisfy your every need. That's too much pressure on them! But I agree that he should be your closest confidant.
Summer Nicole
October 9, 2014 at 4:36 am
I agree with you, I think we get it backwards when we do the fun stuff with girlfriends and just do boring life chores with our spouses. I see now that we have little ones more than ever the need for my hubby and I to connect on a fun "friend" level. So much of our lives are about the kids and meeting their needs and taking care of work and bills and home…we also need to make time for play TOGETHER and remember why we chose each other in the first place. He is, Lord-willing, the best friend I will have the longest…I want to grow old with my Best Friend. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! 😉
The Lady Okie
October 9, 2014 at 1:01 pm
This is funny, because when Jordan and I are in a fight or something and then I want to make up, I sometimes say, "Can we be friends again?" Jordan is definitely my best friend! Well… okay maybe he's tied with my mom 🙂
Jenna
October 10, 2014 at 2:56 am
Mike is definitely my best friend too 🙂 I love that we have hobbies that we are able to do together as best friends would. I agree that having girlfriends is also so so important. Sorry I have been MIA, been crazy with move. Hope all is going well. Your shower looked amazing. Love that so many people where there to support you. You looked beautiful in the dress. Also, your trip to East Coast looked awesome. So many great travel tips
Angela
October 10, 2014 at 8:06 pm
My husband is my best friend for sure, and I wouldn't want it any other way! 🙂
Caitlin | belong with wildflowers
October 12, 2014 at 8:27 pm
My guy is 100% my best friend, and I wouldn't have it any other way! In previous relationships, I always felt some form of detachment from my boyfriend because they were just that… a boyfriend / partner. But not a friend too. I love sharing everything with my guy now… we are best friends and partners + it just makes life so enjoyable!
Angie’s Angle
October 13, 2014 at 5:15 am
I totally agree. My husband is one of my very best friends and I think the building blocks of a good marriage is your husband or wife being your best friend. And I also agree that he shouldn't be your only best friend, I have several.
Faith
October 13, 2014 at 9:57 pm
I completely agree. I have my women best friends but Sean is my number one. There is nothing I could not tell him. He is my best friend.
Kristy {Seven Graces}
October 14, 2014 at 4:47 am
I agree completely. My husband is my best friend, too, and I love that about our marriage. Thanks for sharing your perspective and thank you so much for sharing with the #SHINEbloghop!
R.F. Dietz
October 19, 2014 at 3:51 am
For me, it's not that my husband doesn't care about my latest blog post or a conversation I had with my co-worker, it's that he doesn't know what to do with it. Whereas if I tell my sister, or my friends, they get it. I agree with you 100%, your husband CAN and honestly- SHOULD be your best friend. After all, he is the person we picked to spend our lives with. And I also agree that we need other best friends too- because not only does it take pressure off of our husband's to be "our everything," but there are just some things our husband's don't get excited about!
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