Finding Our Hobbies
Six months. We have lived here in western Washington now for six months. My husband has been pastoring for six months. We’ve been a part of our new normal now for six months.
The first few months were great! We spent all our free time together – making up for all the time we didn’t have together our first four years of marriage while Nate was working a million hours and in school. It was like a honeymoon all over again – if a honeymoon comes with a ten month old. (I guess some do…)
After the first few months it was getting a little old. We wanted to spend all our time together and didn’t have lives of our own other than when Nate was at work. Gradually we realized that was totally impractical. Something needed to changed and we NEEDED to find hobbies apart from one another.
What about you? Do you have hobbies that are uniquely your own that seperate you from your spouse? I have a few reasons why that’s important.
Gives you a sense of autonomy
If you’ve read this blog even once I’m sure you’ve picked up on the fact that I love and adore my husband! He’s my favorite person in the world! He’s my best friend! I honestly don’t know how I’d get through life without him. That being said, I’m still my own person. I was a strong, independent woman before meeting him and I continue to be a strong, independent woman. Sometimes I just need to be me. Having a hobby that is completely separate from anything Nate and I do together helps me keep being me. It reminds me that I still am my own person and that my marriage isn’t the sole thing that defines me.
Gives you something to talk about
Ever hit a rut where you find that you have nothing to talk about with your spouse? Part of the reason could be that you’re never doing things apart from one another. When Nate and I have our own hobbies we’re able to come together and actually talk about them. I love learning about what he’s reading in his crazy deep theology books (that he reads for fun, I might add) and I find it fascinating when he talks about the chemical reactions occurring in the new batch of beer he’s brewing (even though I hate drinking beer. Long Island Iced Tea all the way!) Nate enjoys hearing about the new ways I’m learning to promote my blog (even though he totally isn’t a blogger) and the new project I’m working on crocheting (even though his hands are too big to be able to do something as intricate as what I’m doing). We take joy in the things our love takes joy in and it helps each of us learn new things!
Gives you an outlet
As much as we love our spouses I’m sure we all have days where all we want to do is be on our own for two seconds. Having a hobby that doesn’t include our spouse gives us an outlet to do just that. We are able to do something that makes our hearts happy, decompress a little, and come back to being a better spouse!
Your Turn:
Do you and your husband have separate hobbies?
What is your favorite hobby?
