Preparing for Baby #2 When You’re Totally Scared
Are you ready for baby number two? This post has tons of tips on how to prepare for a second baby – even when you’re totally scared about it! This post focuses most on emotionally preparing for a second baby since that’s often the most tough part of having two!
I used to think I was a baby person. I loved holding and cuddling each and every baby I could get my hands on. I loved scouring mom-to-be’s registries to find the perfect gift for the new little bundle of joy. Then I had Caleb… Of course I loved my baby boy and completely doted on him but he was DIFFICULT! Through him I realized that it’s not that I love babies… It’s that I love happy babies that I can give back when they start fussing. I don’t love babies when I have to bounce them on a yoga ball for an hour to get them to fall asleep – for naps AND bedtime. I don’t love babies who scream for no reason for hours on end. I don’t love babies who refuse a bottle and want to be nursed every two hours.
The first year of Caleb’s life was rough on this mama and I’m realizing more and more that I’m starting over. In a few weeks I’m going to have another baby and possibly start dealing with the same problems. I don’t know if I’m ready for baby number two! I’ve had a few hormonal meltdowns over my fears and am realizing more and more that there have to be changes this time around.
Instead of freaking out, I’ve decided to start now in preparing for Josiah’s birth so that this time around I’m ready for whatever he’s got to throw at me! I’m choosing to be emotionally preparing for my second baby instead of focusing on all the things I’m scared of!
How to Prepare for a Second Baby
Get a Support System Early
When Caleb was born I didn’t have mom friends. Ok, really, when Caleb was born I didn’t have friends. That’s the truth. Well, ok, the truth was that I had four friends. I had four surface level friends that I would get together with every so often but couldn’t spill my thoughts, frustrations, or feelings to. It was hard. It was lonely. I felt completely isolated and by myself. It didn’t help that Nate was working long, horrible hours that left me home alone with our difficult little boy for hours upon hours upon hours.
This time I know it will be different. I am ready for baby number two! Since moving I’ve gained more friends than I could possibly imagine! I know that I could reach out to each and any one of my ladies any time I need and they’ll be there to offer a listening ear or help or whatever I need. My pride often keeps me from asking for that help so I’m preparing myself now to be willing to ask for the help I need – physical and emotional – to keep myself and my family sane. In fact, I’ve already started this process. A few weeks ago when I was having one of my fear filled meltdowns I texted my girls asking for prayer and you better believe they delivered! Putting pride aside is totally worth it!
Remember this Baby Will be Different
Yes, Caleb was difficult but, who knows, Josiah might be a totally easy going baby. I can’t let the fear of what could happen cloud my mind to what will happen. I don’t want to be so stressed about the possibility of having another difficult baby that I don’t enjoy my new little one and my amazing toddler. I see other babies who can fall asleep on their own, be out past five pm, and do all sorts of other things that Caleb never could do and I realize that there’s no reason to assume that Josiah will be difficult. He could be the most chill little man alive. Only time will tell.
Decide What Was Hardest and Change It
I’ve taken stock of Caleb’s first year of life and have tried to nail down a few things that, if I had changed, would have made life easier for all of us. Those are the things I’m going to be sure to implement with Josiah and, as we’re getting to know Josiah’s personality, I’m going to be intentional about nailing down the things he brings to our family that throws us off and do what I can to change those as well.
The first thing with Caleb was his sleep. He literally had to be bounced on a yoga ball for about an hour each time he fell asleep – naps AND bedtime. For a while Nate or I were bouncing him for up to four hours a day – otherwise he would be screaming. We’ve absolutely decided that we’re not going to fall into that habit again. This time around we’re going to be willing to sleep train our kiddo earlier. It amazed us how quickly Caleb took to sleep training. I always thought I would be the mama who didn’t let my kiddo cry it out but Caleb taught me differently (Within reason, of course. No, we didn’t let him scream and holler for hours on end). Once again, Josiah may have no issues sleeping but I’m prepared if he does.
The second thing with Caleb was his refusal to take a bottle. I was so incredibly thankful that I was able to nurse Caleb for as long as I did but it was also EXHAUSTING to be at his beckon call all day, every day since he absolutely refused a bottle. Mama couldn’t be away for more than two hours at a time or little man would lose it. We’re not doing that again. Yes, I’m still planning on nursing Josiah but you better believe we’re going to do everything in our power to get him to also be willing to take a bottle. Maybe that means pumping, maybe that means giving him some formula, maybe that means using a turkey baster and squirting milk into his mouth… (Why yes, we did have to do that for Caleb one day when I HAD to be gone for five hours at a conference)
How are you emotionally preparing for your second baby?
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