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Top Ten Rules for Visiting a Newborn

June 4, 2019


These are the top ten rules for visiting a newborn. Don't be the friend that forgets one (or more) of them! This truly is what every postpartum mom wants you to know! #newborn #friendship #postpartum

Can anyone else agree that the most intoxicating smell is the smell of a fresh, newborn baby?  It can’t just be me!  Now that Daniel is nearly six weeks old, that newborn scent is leaving his precious little body and it’s giving me all the feels.

The first few weeks with a newborn are wonderful, exhausting, amazing, and overwhelming all rolled into a neat little package of preciousness.  Baby blues can hit hard, physical recovery can be tough, and you may not have the support you need if your spouse isn’t able to take time off work.

Something that’s a wonderful help to new mamas is friends who are there for them.  If you’re reading this post, you’re probably one of these friends.  You want to be there as a support but don’t necessarily know how to assist in this newborn season of life.  You want to visit and show your excitement and love but don’t know the rules for visiting a newborn.  These ten tips will help you be the best newborn support person you can be while visiting.

These are the top ten rules for visiting a newborn. Don't be the friend that forgets one (or more) of them! This truly is what every postpartum mom wants you to know! #newborn #friendship #postpartum

Top Ten Rules for Visiting a Newborn

Ask Before Coming Over

Every family has a different schedule and, when you add in a newborn, that schedule changes even more.  Don’t assume any time is good for stopping by.  Always call or text to set up a time that works for mama and baby and, if you’re being even more considerate, text ten minutes or so before the agreed upon time to make sure it’s still ok.  You never know when your friend might be able to sneak in a nap and doesn’t want company.

Make Sure You’re Healthy

This rule is key!  Newborn babies get sick so easily and you don’t want to pass on any sickness to the little one.  I know, it’s very disappointing when you want to snuggle on a little one but have to pass that up because of sickness but your friend will thank you!  This time around both my big boys and husband got sick the first week of our newborn’s life and, unfortunately, little Daniel caught it.  It was heartbreaking and a little scary to see the little man coughing up phlegm, struggling to breathe out of his nose, and spitting up mucous.  Thankfully, in our case, it was only a cold and he got over it but other babies may suffer greatly or even die due to sicknesses they contract.  Never risk it!

Don’t Touch Without Washing

Similarly to the last rule, this one is all about keeping baby healthy.  Never touch a newborn baby without first washing and sanitizing your hands.  You may not be sick but germs could still be living on your skin and you don’t want to pass those germs off to baby!

These are the top ten rules for visiting a newborn. Don't be the friend that forgets one (or more) of them! This truly is what every postpartum mom wants you to know! #newborn #friendship #postpartum

Don’t Hold Baby for Too Long

Mama bear instinct is real and I know that I struggled with anyone else holding my babies for too long during the first two weeks or so of their lives.  Hormones are rushing through your mama friend’s postpartum body and, more than likely, a part of those hormones is telling her that she needs her baby.  Always ask if the mom wants the baby back within the first few minutes and be genuine about it.  If she’s ok with you continuing to hold the baby (and she might be!) then she’ll let you know.  She may not be comfortable asking for her baby back even if it’s giving her anxiety that she’s not snuggling her baby.  You may not understand that anxiety but it’s real and you need to respect it.

Bring a Meal

This should go without saying but I’m going to say it anyways – BRING FOOD!  Postpartum moms don’t want to be thinking about what they’re going to cook for the next meal and it’s such a wonderful blessing to be brought a meal.  Make sure you bring things in disposable dishware too because your friend doesn’t want to be tracking down 23498 people to return dishes to once her life is a little more back to normal.

Bring Coffee (Or Your Friend’s Treat of Choice)

Don’t just stop at bringing a meal!  Think about who your friend is and what she likes and bring snacks or a treat that she’ll love.  I’m all about good coffee and the friends who stopped by with a cold brew or iced coconut mocha spoke my heart language.  Any sort of snack will also make a mom love you since there’s not always time to get a full on meal during the first few weeks postpartum.

These are the top ten rules for visiting a newborn. Don't be the friend that forgets one (or more) of them! This truly is what every postpartum mom wants you to know! #newborn #friendship #postpartum

Ask How Your Friend is Doing

It may look as though your friend is doing just fine and adjusting to her new little one with ease but that may not be the case.  Instead of only asking about the birth and her baby, ask her how she is doing and really listen.  She may not be willing to tell you that she’s struggling or she may not even really know herself so listen to the way she’s saying thing and the between the lines things she isn’t actually saying and ask clarifying questions to show you really do care and want to be there to help her process her emotions.

Offer to Take the Big Kids

One of the most helpful things that was done for me was when Caleb’s best friend’s grandparents offered to take Josiah and Caleb for an evening to play with their grandson.  As much as I love my big boys, getting some time that was focused on only my husband and baby was beyond precious.  When you stop by, offer to take the big kids with you on a little outing to give your mama friend a break!

Do Some Housework

If you’re at your friend’s house for more than five minutes or so, look around to see what needs to be done.  Maybe there are dishes in the sink that need to be loaded.  Ask if you can do them.  Maybe you see a spill that needs to be wiped up – get it done!  If you don’t see anything (which I’m pretty sure would be a miracle!) ask your friend if there’s anything you could do.  She probably has something she needs done and hopefully she’ll be willing be let you do it!

Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

It varies mom to mom and day to day with how long you should stay when visiting a newborn.  Some mamas might be craving adult time and other mamas may want a quick visit and then for you to leave.  Make sure you’re aware of what your friend is wanting.  She may not directly tell you that she wants you to leave so be asking questions and watching body language to see what she wants from you.  Childbirth and the postpartum period is exhausting and you need to respect that!

Your Turn:
Do you have any rules for visiting a newborn that you’d add to the list?

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These are the top ten rules for visiting a newborn. Don't be the friend that forgets one (or more) of them! This truly is what every postpartum mom wants you to know! #newborn #friendship #postpartum

These are the top ten rules for visiting a newborn. Don't be the friend that forgets one (or more) of them! This truly is what every postpartum mom wants you to know! #newborn #friendship #postpartum

 

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