I am a mother of three and I’ll be the first one to tell you that the transition isn’t easy. Even so, three-child families are so much fun and I’m here to share some tips for becoming a mom of three!
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I am a mother of three!!! Honestly, I had always been told that the transition from two to three kids was the hardest. I prepared myself for this to be true during my pregnancy with Daniel but, honestly, I didn’t know how real it was!
Ladies, let me tell you, the transition from two to three is the hardest!
That being said, I’m six months into becoming a mom of three and, I have to say, I absolutely love it! Having a large family has always been my dream (I come from a family of 12 kids so we’re planning on having 4 kids of our own and potentially foster/adopting a few more after that) and I am thrilled that my dream is coming true – even if it is hard.
I’ve been told that after this transition adding any more kids will be a breeze. I’ll let you know if that’s true when it happens. 😉
What to Know if You’re Becoming a Mom of Three
The Ability of Multitask and Prioritize is a Must
From here on out you will never do one thing at a time again. Three-child families are craycray! Your preschooler will be asking you to read, your toddler will be yelling at you to wipe his butt, and your baby will be crying because he’s ready for bed. It’s just going to happen and you’ll have to figure out how to do all those things at once. You’ll learn to be quick at triaging situations and figuring out what needs to be done and when it needs to be done. You’ll be able to make dinner while playing dinosaur while teaching your toddler his colors. It may take some practice but it will become second nature.
Enlist Help – Even From the Bigger Kids
Woman, you CAN NOT take care of three children without some version of help. Tell your husband what you need, ask your friend to watch a kid or two, beg grandparents to come over. Just don’t do it alone. There will definitely be times when you have to be with all three kiddos alone and you’ll have to occasionally rely on your bigger kids to help out. As the oldest daughter of 12 kids, I was relied on a lot to help with my younger siblings so I never wanted to place that burden on Caleb but asking him to help is different than fully relying on him. There are times when I need him to pull Josiah’s pants down to use the potty while I’m nursing Daniel. There are times I ask Josiah to go grab Daniel’s pacifier while I am bouncing the baby and listening to Caleb read. My big boys are happy to help out and it’s a good way to explain to them that families work together to make life work. I am a mother of three and I can’t do it alone!
Divide and Conquer
Sit down with your husband and have a talk about how to divvy up responsibilities in the home. As a mom of three, you can’t do it all! This will look different for every couple and that’s totally fine. In our home I make dinner most nights and Nate does dishes most nights. I try to do dishes throughout the day but we agree that it’s ok if all the dishes are still in the sink when Nate gets home from work. On most nights I put down the baby (you know, because I have the milk jugs attached to me) and Nate puts down the big boys. We both do housework and teach the boys to assist in that too. Nate is even able to take a few hours of sick time in order to come home and watch the bigger boys while I take Daniel to his baby checkups. Three-child families have to share the work load or one person is bound to have a breakdown.
Spend Intentional Time with Each Kid
As you have more kids, it’s so important that each of your children feel valued and get the time they need with their parents. My therapist told me in one session that kids need a focused 20 minutes each day to get their love tanks filled and anything after that is wonderful. So Nate and I each have an hour a day (20 minutes a kid) we need to be intentional about. That’s doable. We also realized when Daniel was a two months old that Caleb was acting out a lot. It was decided that he’d do monthly breakfast dates with his daddy (since Nate is his all time favorite person in the world) and Caleb’s attitude problems subsided. We also realized recently that Josiah had been getting the short end of the stick on time (middle child problems) but, since it didn’t result in him acting out, we were kind of ignoring that it was happening. We’re now working on making sure he’s getting enough one-on-one time too. It can be hard but it’s so valuable to meet each kid where they’re at and do quality one-on-one things with each of them.
Go with the Flow
Becoming a mom of three kids means your life is now more than crazy. You can stress about it or you can learn to just let things happen how they’re going to happen and go with the flow. Since Daniel is the third child, he doesn’t always get intentional naps the way his big brothers did. There are times when I’ve promised the big boys that we’ll go to library story time so I have to wake Daniel up early from a nap. There are other times when Daniel is in a wonder week and is crying his head off so I decide to DoorDash dinner to us instead of going grocery shopping. I love having my life planned out but I am a mother of three and that has taught me the skill of letting things go.
Trust Your Gut
When you’re on your third kiddo you know how to mom. You’ve succeeded in getting two kids through whatever your new little one is going through so trust your gut and persevere. You stressed over it with the first, you questioned things with your second, but now you’ve got it figured out. 😉
Baby Carriers are a Must
You have two hands. You have three kids. Get a baby carrier! I’ve owned four carriers for my three boys for various reasons but it’s money well spent!
Remember, This is Only a Season
I’ve been a mom of three for six months now and it’s already gotten a whole lot easier. As much as I don’t want to wish away this time with my boys being young, I do remind myself often that this is all just a season and the hardness of having three little people four and under relying on me isn’t going to be my reality forever. Sometimes that’s all that gets me through the day.
Pray… A Lot!
This may be my last piece of advice but it’s absolutely the most important one! Prayer and relying on Jesus is imperative regardless of your stage of life and becoming a mom of three is no different. Surround your children, marriage, fears, and joys in prayer and remember that God is always on your side! PS. If you’re not a mother of three, please pray for us three-child families!
Say it with me “I am a mother of three and I can do hard things!”
How do you feel about three-child families?
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