Are there any little things you could be doing in your marriage to help the spark stay alive? These 10 marriage tips will help you stay in love as you appreciate and care for you spouse.
Photos by Mandi McDougall Photography
I would venture to guess that the vast majority of us get married, longing to stay madly in love for the rest of our lives. Very few of us go into marriage hoping to fall out of love.
Often the first few years are good, and we still have the warm, fuzzy, butterflies in the stomach feeling. Then the real world starts sinking in. We have kids. Work and life get crazy. We gain a few pounds. We start realizing that our marriage isn’t what it was. And we feel as though we’re falling out of love.
This doesn’t have to be anyone’s story! There are some easy things each of us can do to give our marriages a little boost and show our spouse how much we still are into our marriage.
10 Marriage Tips to Stay Madly in Love
Always be Intentional About Hellos and Goodbyes
When you or your spouse arrives or leaves, those are perfect times to show one another the love you still feel. Give kisses, say “I love you,” encourage them to have a good day/ask them how their day went. The first and last moments you have with one another are connecting moments so make the most of them. Put aside what you’re in the middle of and show your spouse he is your priority.
Engage in Non-Sexual Touch
It’s amazing how, when we simply go about our days, we can easily get out of the habit of touching one another. This is especially true for touch when we’re not hoping to get a little somethin-somethin later that evening. I encourage you to give kisses, hold one another’s hand, rub each other’s backs, give big bear hugs, smack each other’s bottoms… The list goes on and on but just make sure you’re showing your care through touch.
Put Down Your Phone
I feel like this should go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway… PUT DOWN THAT DANG PHONE! Seriously, people! There’s a time and a place for being on your device and you need to know when that time and place is. Make sure your phone is not getting in the way of time you two need (or want) as a couple. PS. This goes for any and all other devices as well.
Be Specific About Your Needs
Even if you’ve been married a while, your husband is not a mindreader… And neither are you. Let’s stop getting offended and start communicating! If you know you are wanting something from your spouse, TELL HIM. If you know you’re needing your spouse to stop doing something, TELL HIM. The more we talk to each other, respect each other, and don’t force our spouse to guess what we need the better things will be.
Let Them Know Your Plans
I don’t like when Nate get home an hour later than I thought he would because he had forgotten to let me know he had a later meeting. Nate gets annoyed when I forget to tell him I’ll be out past the boys’ bedtime, and he has to guess if he’s on solo bedtime duty. The easy solution is to make sure you’re filling your spouse in on your plans. We actually have a shared google calendar where we put all our activities, so we can know what to expect. That still doesn’t change that we have to communicate as well but it does help.
Have Intentional Conversations
It’s easy to get into ruts where we don’t talk much. We’re tired after the kids go to bed, so we just throw on a TV show and veg out. While that can be good some of the time, it’s also vital that we spend time having intentional conversations with the person with whom we chose to spend our life. You may need to schedule your conversations, or they may be able to come naturally but, no matter what, make sure you’re talking about your hopes, dreams, discouragements, excitements, plans, and thoughts. Maybe even have some specific questions thought out that allow for intentional conversations.
Allow One Another to Get Away
Too much togetherness can sometimes just be too much. Make sure you’re leaving room for your spouse to get away and do things alone or with friends. Maybe it’s an afternoon shopping for new clothes or maybe it’s a weekend away with some friends. It’s good for your marriage to have time away occasionally.
Get Away Together
On the flip side, getting away together is just as important as getting away on your own. Make sure you’re going on date nights and taking trips together. Even if you don’t have kids, getting away together is a big deal and gets you out of a rut. It’s even more important if you do have kids because kids are crazy and sometimes we need grownup time.
Pray For Your Spouse
Ultimately, God is the one who holds our marriages together. We need to be covering our marriage and our spouse with prayer, asking for His guidance. Are you wondering where to start with that? Start by praying Scripture and gradually your own words will start flowing.
Say “I Love You”
Three words, eight letters… They mean so much in a marriage. Simply by reminding your spouse of your love you are helping remain connected.